Tuesday, July 03, 2007

2 Emotions. Mixed Feelings

Now I'm in school but i am not listening to what the teacher is saying. I'm at a lost for wad to do. Slept for only 4 hours last night. Cant sleep spent the night thinking abt the things tt are happening.

First and foremost, my family. I have to say tt my brother is the one tt is on my time most of the time yesterday. Somehow i feel tt i cant do anything anymore to control him, to get him to listen to me. The change in him is so sudden so drastic. All of a sudden, he egan to smoke and drink beer. Wad make him do all tt? From wad i heard from him, he smokes to get rid of the stress tt he is feeling. He comes home late almost everday and disappear early the next morning. It's like he is not even there at all. He doesn't know how hard it is for my mother to stay up almost every night and wait for him to reach home. She has to wake up early the next morning at 5 plus to go to work.

My mother's health is not tt good anymore. And i heard from her the other day tt her performance at work is affected by my brother and the long hours tt she stays awake every night to wait for him. When he heard tt he said tt my mother can go to sleep first and there's no n id to wait for him to reach home. He juz dun seems to understand tt she's worried abt him staying out late and is afraid tt something might happen to him. My father told him tt it's not sbt whether they slp or not, but abt their concerns for him. But he said something so soft tt i cant make out wad he is saying.

I feel sad for my mother. I dun noe wad my brother is thinking, knowing tt my mother always wait for him to reach home, he still chooses to reach home late. Even at work, my mother couldnt concentrate on her work, her mind is always on my brother, wondering where is he, how is he and wad is he doing.

Most of the time, I am the only one at home together with my mother. My brother is either out with his friends or working while my father is working. I dun blame my father as he is running his own factory and he do not have enough manpower. But my brother could at least spend more time at home. I mean friends are important, but family should always come first. I think he see more of his friends than the family.

I dun noe wad to do. I wan to help my brother, but at the same time i do not wan to lose him by having him run away from home.

KUSO!!!!!

Posted by Dennis at 11:16 AM